Sisters Forever

Last Sunday, July 20, 2008, my little sister, Ginger Dee Clinton, left this mortal existence and passed across the veil to the other side. That day was the hardest, saddest day of my entire life. I could have only imagined what it could be like to lose someone so close, someone you loved so much. Now I know. But, because of my knowledge of the Eternal Plan of Happiness, and my testimony that God lives and loves me, I made it through the darkest of hours into the light that He so willingly offers.

Sunday morning, I got up to get ready for church and received a phone call from my brother at 7:00 in the morning. It was the type of call you hope you'll never receive. He told me that Ginger was heading to the hospital in an ambulance and that it didn't look good, but that we needed to pray. Don was already at the church in meetings and all of my children were asleep. Needing some companionship, I immediately woke up my oldest girls, Ginger and Gillian, who were asleep on the couch from babysitting late the previous night. My daughter, Ginger could see how upset I was, so she immediately knelt beside me and offered to say the prayer. I called Don, who came right home, and we all said another prayer together. Even though we still hadn't heard the outcome, I knew in my heart that she was gone, and during that prayer, the peace that came over us was comforting and so real. We found out later that she had suffered a minor seizure, causing her heart to short circuit and stop. She basically just passed away in her sleep.

With 10 siblings, I was blessed with six amazing sisters and Ginger was the one just 2 years below me in age. We grew up doing everything together. We roller skated, rode bikes, played hopscotch and jumped rope, built forts, slept on the trampoline, shared a room, dressed like twins for fun, played "house" together, worked alongside my dad in his office as we goofed off in the back, etc....just did all the things you do with a sister. I have an exerpt in my journal that Ginger and I wrote together in our own journals, word for word, that we have read together over the years. It was about a "Happy Friendship" party that we threw for our dolls. We made a banner, and decorated our bunk bed and threw this elaborate party for our dolls, complete with cake and cookies. Many times, we have read that journal entry outloud together over and over and would laugh and laugh. A "happy friendship" is what we shared.


(I am handing Ginger her birthday cake on her first b-day with our 4 older siblings)


As kids, we spent hours and hours playing together, but I can't forget to mention the fact that there were MANY times when I wanted to play, but Ginger had her nose stuck in a book, with a bag of sunflower seeds at her side. She was the fastest reader and read every book in our house at least once, if not twice. I think that's where she got her smarts from. She was much smarter than I, her older sister. I would study my guts out, while Ginger could learn everything so quickly and remember it forever. So not fair. Ginger was the one I went to High School, Seminary, Youth Conference, Stake Dances and Girl's Camp with. You would think she would be glad that her older sister was with her so she wouldn't feel timid and shy, but it was actually the other way around. She was my little security blanket. I was shy and socially awkward, but Ginger was outgoing and confident and everyone loved to be around her. I remember being at dances where guys my age or older would want to hang out with her and dance with her because she was so little, so cute, and so cool.

We eventually went to a Young Adult Dance where she introduced me to Don, and actually told me prior to the introduction, "you have to meet Don Spangler, and you HAVE to marry him." She was obviously inspired. Ginge and I got to be next door neighbors at BYU, so she was there when I brought my first baby girl home from the hospital, named Ginger Dee Spangler. I remember her crying when she found out what we had named our baby. I had no idea at the time how much having a daughter named after her would mean to me. Ginger and I would just hold my newborn baby and stare at her for hours and hours, watching and waiting for her to make any expression.

As a young girl, Ginger and I, as well as our younger sisters and cousins, participated in a talent show at school where we lip synced and danced to the song, "When I Grow Up, I want to be a Mother". There were 7 or 8 of us little blonde girls, dressed in white shorts and pink T-shirts with the logo "Z Girls" printed on the front (Z stands for Zierenberg, our maiden name). I watched Ginger live that dream and become the most loving, wonderful mother to her four children, Erin, Jenna, Brady, and Holly. One thing I always noticed and loved about Ginger was that she truly enjoyed being a mother. She couldn't change a diaper without tickling, playing, and laughing with her babies, and she could literally sit on the couch for hours just talking to, or goofing off with her kids. She took the time to answer any silly question they asked and made sure they felt appreciated and loved. She loved her children with her whole heart and her greatest desire was to teach them the gospel of Jesus Christ. My friend sent a message about Ginger today and said, "those sweet little children are pumped full of Ginger" and it's so true. They are forever influenced because of her goodness and light. They not only look like her, but they are so smart, and funny, and full of love and a desire to do right, just like their mother. (oh yeah, and their dad, too!)



Ginger called me quite frequently for mom-type questions, or just simple homemaking advice. I will never forget just a few years ago when she called to ask questions about how to bake a cake...from a box! But, in the past couple years, she was passing me up quickly as she was bottling hamburger and butter, and baking in her backyard with her sun oven. She had a great desire to follow the prophet's counsel and have her family prepared for any future trials.

Over the past 3 years, living so far away from my family, I was blessed to be able to see Ginger so much. As hard as it is to lose my sister, it would have been 10 times harder if I hadn't seen her enough in the past few years. She was so great about just packing up her four kids, jumping on a plane and coming to visit. Don and I even had the opportunity to travel to Hawaii and Mexico with Ginger and Jason a couple times in the last 3 years, which are memories we will always treasure. This year alone, I had been able to spend so much time with her, first at our Annual Girl's Weekend with my sisters, then at the funeral of my grandmother, then our huge Zierenberg family reunion in May. And then, my little family also just spent 4 weeks in California, for my sister, Amber's wedding and to just enjoy time with family. I will forever be grateful for that time I got to be there, to stay in her home with her one last time, and to fill up my heart with fresh, recent memories.

That picture of us at the top is my favorite picture of me and Ginger. We took it just a few weeks ago, on the 4th of July. Two days after I returned home from our long trip to California, I was doing the dishes, thinking about how much I already missed my family, and this picture popped in my mind, and I thought to myself, go e-mail that picture to Ginger and tell her how much you already miss her and love her. I never got the chance to send it to her, and just 2 days later, she died, but I know she knew how much I loved her, and knows now how much I miss her.

Going home this past week for the Memorial Service was definitely the hardest thing I have ever lived through, but at the same time, I never knew that it could be as bearable as it was. What a tremendous blessing it was to be surrounded by my family and loved ones. Our entire family was being carried. Heavenly Father had sent the Comforter to be with us and it was remarkable the peace and assurance I felt in knowing that I would see my sister again, that we were a forever family, and that we would be all right. My older brother, Jason gave the eulogy and a beautiful tribute to Ginger that was so heartwarming and beautiful. My youngest sister, Wendy, shared memories and special stories about her that made us all laugh and cry. One of my favorite stories was about a campout that Ginger and Wendy took Erin and Jenna on just weeks before her passing. They were supposed to go at the end of the summer, but Ginger decided to just do it. We ALL were invited in the evening to make smores around the campfire and then we left as Ginger, Wendy, my mom and Ginger's girls stayed to spend the night. Wendy told of them sitting around the campfire melting plastic forks into cool shapes, and heard Erin proclaim, "This is the best night of my life!" That was Ginger's goal. She wanted to make a night that her girls would remember forever and now they have that memory to hold onto. At the service, my husband, Don, gave an inspired, uplifting talk about our Heavenly Father's Plan for us that touched the hearts of many, even those not of our faith. It was a beautiful service.

The morning of the funeral, Ginger's little 3 year old boy, Brady, asked his daddy if Mommy would be coming back home. Jason quietly replied, "no". Brady then asked, "Because Heavenly Father made her an angel?" Jason's answer, "yes". Then Brady quickly responded, "Because she likes to play in the snow!" If only we could have that childlike innocence and happy outlook on life.

Even though this has been the most difficult week to endure, we have been blessed to be able to see and recognize all of the tender mercies that Heavenly Father has bestowed upon us. Even in times of peril, His hand has cleared the path to make this trial as bearable as possible. These are just a few of the tender mercies we've noticed...
*Jason has been out of work for 5 months, but they chose to take the time to enjoy as a family instead of trying to find a job right away. And because they have been so blessed financially, Jason can still be at home with his kids for a while without hurrying back to work.
*My mom and dad shared lunch with Ginger and Jason in the temple just 2 days before she died.
*Ginger's oldest daughter, Erin(7), got tucked in by her mother the night before and talked with her about heaven and what a beautiful place it was. Erin even informed us that her mom didn't even know if they had food in heaven, but that now she knows.
*My youngest sister Wendy is able to stay and help Jason for the next month, which is a huge comfort to all of us.
*I said good-bye to Ginger exactly one week before she died, and will never forget her coming back for a 2nd good-bye hug, as we weren't going to be seeing each other for a few months.
There have been countless others. I literally could write books about Ginger and her fun-spirited personality, her vibrancy for life, her goodness and faithfulness, and her desire to serve and lift those around her. There were over a thousand people at her Memorial Service, which didn't surprise any of us. The world lost an amazing, beautiful women that day, but Heavenly Father needed her on the other side to do an even greater work. I will miss her so much, but will forever be changed for the good, because of knowing her. And, now after having gone through this experience, I have been given an eternal perspective that will help me each and every day of my life. It has given me a desire to love and live my life as though this were my last day on earth, an enhanced desire to enjoy and cherish my children and husband, and a willingness to serve more and share the gospel that Ginger so perfectly lived. But, most importantly, this experience has given me an increased determination to do all I can to follow my Savior so that one day I can make it back to my sister! I love you, Ginge, and will see you later!




For those of you didn't know my sister, you are welcome to get to know her a little better through her blog.... http://www.jasondgingerd.blogspot.com/
Her final post, which she posted the night before she died was entitled "happiness". How appropriate.