Thursday, July 31, 2008
I know it's been quite a while since I updated my blog, but when I think about creating posts about my last days with my sister, it just emotionally overwhelms me. Every time I sit down to work on it and look through the pictures of those final days with her, the tears start to flow and I just have to walk away. I know I need to do it because these are good, special memories for me, but I just can't bring myself to do it yet. I will, maybe once my kids get back into school and I am into a routine again. In the mean time, I want to thank you all for your comments, your words of encouragement and love, and most importantly for your prayers. I can feel them and I am so grateful for the comfort and peace I feel from your prayers. The days are getting easier, but harder at the same time. It feels more real, yet I find myself wanting to call Ginger to talk about anything and everything all the time. My heart still aches mostly for her husband and children, but I find so much comfort in knowing that the Savior can and will heal their hearts.
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14 comments:
You are amazing Heidi!
Love you-
Melinda
Heidi, we love and admire you and your family so much (and we love everyone who makes you happy)! It doesn't matter how much time may try to blur over this era of your life, we will always remember your experiences and influence and we hope that our little community will be able to fill your needs even years down the road. Thanks for inspiring us all, and for finding the strength to bouy up all these people sharing your life. You give so much to others, and it's the least we can all do to try to at least be there by your side. Please, please, don't hesitate to call someone if you feel alone or need help, no matter how small. God bless you, Heidi.
I'm right there with you, Heids! I wrote like 7 pages about Ging and it took me a few weeks to get through it. Although it was an emotional process it was also very healing. I hope you can find the strength to do it so that those memories are recorded... especially for the kids to see. I love you and am praying for you (and everyone) continually!
Love, Brandi
Kurt and I just heard about your news. We are praying for your family and you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Michelle
You really are awesome. I would love to see the pictures and the memories of your beautiful sister and your family's time together this summer. Those are such precious memories...but take your time. I know you will find the strength...maybe after school starts and the house is a little more quiet, too. :)
I'd love to help, if I can.
I can only imagine how difficult it must be to think about the times you and Ginger spent together. I get tearful just thinking about the two of you together...my sisters are my best friends too. I look forward to seeing your posts about the two of you because it will help those who love her to feel connected to her once again through your experiences. When you share your stories, we celebrate her life. We love you!
You can do it, Heids!
May I share a quote from William Wordsworth:
"There is a comfort in the strength of love;
'T will make a thing endurable, which else
Would overset the brain, or break the heart."
I love you!
Heidi -
This is Angie Kent Rennie. Don & I are old friends & grew up in the same ward. (I typed Donny & had to change it!) I'm also friends with the Barlows, thru whom I heard of your loss. THANK YOU for sharing your tender feelings & testimony with all of us out here. You are blessing/will bless the lives of countless others. We read your messages of hope & love, & are strengthened ourselves against the day we, too, will experience that same separation from loved ones. Thanks to our Savior, we KNOW it will be but for a short moment... in the eternal perspective.
I found it so amazing that the RS lesson I taught the Sunday your angel sister passed away was about death. One thing brought up in our class was that we, as Saints, "mourn" the passing of a loved one, but we do not "greive". To mourn is to feel the sadness & loss, yet to have hope. To greive is to despair, to have no hope of reunion.
As a mom of 5 little ones, I mourn with you, pray for you, & am amazed by your perserverance. Know you are loved, thought of, & have your own personal guardian angel watching over you!
Much love,
Angie
adrenn@msn.com
PS - would you give Don a greeting for me? Using the thumb & forefinger of each hand, make a "W" on your forehead & say, "Wanker" to him? Thanks! 8^)
Heidi you are such an inspiration for me thank you. My thoughts and prayers have been with you and your family this past month. Hope to see you guys soon.
anything i could do or say to comfort you would mean a lot. there are times lately that people say the dumbest things to me (trying to be 'helpful) but when they say something sweet or i'm just ready for the right person to pop in to say hi and give a hug, it's all better (for that moment). I would love to come over and just listen and let you talk. Journaling is great for this. You don't even have to 'blog' it for everyone to see but tell all your feelings, good and bad somewhere. it helps me. i can read it over sometimes and see my growth from even one day passing since i wrote. As when something in our life is tramatizing, time is as slow as a snails crawl. I'm sure there is a reason for that too.
If you would like, please email me whenever you want. lilastuteville@yahoo.com if you need more privacy. I'm so glad to reconnect with you. my heart is all the way in washington with you (a piece will always be there since that's where mike and I served our missions). thank you for your prayers for us and putting our names in the temple. like you, we feel every one of those sweet and sincere prayers. Love you. lila
You are in my prayers! Love you and your whole family!! :)
I keep checking your blog every few days, hoping that you have found the time and energy to blog about Ging. I know it has to be so hard for you. I just wish there weren't so many miles between all of us. We really need each other right now. I will wait patiently for your comments. We love and miss you. You are in my heart and on my mind constantly.
Love you, Natalie
Heidi, I am thinking about you, Ginger, your sisters and the rest of your family often. It is still so hard for me to grasp and accept the truth of it. I can only imagine what you are experiencing. Remember that there are so many people out there that love you and are praying for you and your family. Ginger was a great friend and a wonderful example and you were too. You never realize how many lives you touch.
Love always,
Anne Rogers
Heidi-
All of you are still in me prayers daily. It is hard to write down those tender memories. It is two years tomorrow that my dad passed away and I wouldn't say it is easier, but I have learned to cope with it better.
Love,
Kim (Gibbs) Heinrich
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